Valentines – Plan the Day

A person can get another relationship, but not another “each other”.
It’s just a few days until the annual celebration of romance is before us. Will you choose to approach this Valentine’s Day intentionally? Or not?
Will you see the day as an opportunity to show your Valentine that they are your priority?  Or not?
Will you choose to spend just a little time to make this Valentine’s Day not necessarily extraordinary, just not ordinary? Or not?

Grand gestures won’t carve your name on their heart nearly as much as your tenderness and thoughtfulness will.

From my own experience, wooing starts best in the bloom of the day, followed by one or two surprise whispers of love as Valentine’s Day fully blossoms.  As you design the day, imagine how you’d like Valentine’s Day….and the night to unfold.
Perhaps you’ll start the day by softly sweeping the hair from their brow and presenting them with the perfect cup of morning coffee, a paper and your shared excitement about the day.
Mid-day could be a simple phone call to remind each of you of the love you share.
Evening plans can be as elaborate or as simple as you choose.   Without a lot of fuss, you could invite your Valentine to a cozy fireside dinner or a “carpet picnic” in your living room. Prepare your own specialty.  Or opt for takeout at your local market and tell “Deli- guy” that it’s your night to cook!
Will the dress code for your soiree be evening gown and “tails”, or provocative “PJ’s’?
As the evening progresses, will you test the waters by lighting candles and drawing a fragrant, bubbly bath for the two of you?  Or play a love song and slow dance in the foyer?  Maybe a soothing massage is  more your style.
I offer these ideas just to ignite your own imagination. It’s all very affordable. On this special day, face it, can you afford not to woo the one you love?
If you are considering a Valentines gift that will express your love to “your love” not only on Valentines Day but everyday, check out the Pocket Heart and Loving Heart Pin for men and Loving Heart necklaces, earrings and charms for women.  
My passion, my company and my line of jewelry are about helping people express their love to the special people in their life.
This Valentine’s Day will you treat your Valentine like “the one of a kind” they really are?
– by Jean Schnaak, Designer
 The Loving Heart Collection by Jean Schnaak^®

Tags: Date Ideas, express your love, heart jewelry, hearts, I Do, intentionality, Loving Heart Pin, Pocket Heart, relationships, Romantic Valentines Evening Ideas, Show Your Love, Valentines Day, Valentines Gifts, Valentines Gifts for Men, Valentines Ideas
Posted in Being Intentional, Valentines | 3 Comments »

Matters of the Heart

June 24th, 2009 In these busy times this author believes that where we live, how we live and what we do all pale in comparison to how we express our love to others.

To love intentionally, planning will be required.  Swirling around in my head have been some thoughts as to how to go about this.
To better express my love for the people who are important to me, I need to identify who they are and rank them.  That sounds a little cut and dry, but think about it – don’t you have unspoken rankings of people you know?
Consider if you will, those to whom you give Christmas cards versus Christmas gifts; birthday cards (calls, emails, texts, Facebook posts)  versus birthday presents.  How about your guest lists for holiday parties, cookouts, weddings and so on? Whether written or simply in our minds, these lists imply a sort of value ranking of our relationships.  Don’t they?
As I continue my pursuit to love more intentionally those who are most important to me, I will take a look at how often and through what means these love connections have taken place over the past several years.  Have our communications occurred weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly or beyond?  Has the quality of the relationship strengthened or weakened over time? Is the relationship heading in the direction that is best for all concerned?
There are friends I feel compelled to talk with every two to three weeks.  It’s like I need a  friend fix. These close friends and I make time for each other – to grab a cup of coffee and visit over the phone for a bit.   To talk with them is like a “shot in the arm.” (Just to be clear for anyone who did not grow up hearing this expression, a “shot in the arm” is intended as something good for a person, not a painful experience.)
Then there are other friends with whom I may connect every six months or yearly as we exchange Christmas cards and family highlights of the past year.  (Perhaps the Christmas cards with family update letters say a lot about peoples’ desire to stay connected regardless of these busy lives we lead.)  Anyway, it seems there is a rhythm to these love connections – something to do with frequency, mode of connection and desire.
As I review each relationship and consider my desire for this relationship the future, I’ll rank each one. With only so much time to spend with those I love, I must define the optimal love connection for each person who is important to me.  Then again, simply not forgetting a dear friend’s birthday or a nephew’s little league game would be a great improvement.
To do anything well, I must be deliberate.  By July 15th, I intend to do the following:

• Identify the people with whom I wish to have a lasting relationship,
• Define my ranking system based on moving forward in time and  my level of commitment to the relationship,
• Define frequency of contact per relationship (daily, weekly, monthly, yearly)
• Identify options for connecting  (outings, phone, email, Facebook, special occasions, holidays, etc) and
• MOST OF ALL write it all down.

Once written, implementation of a system of Outlook Calendar reminders synched with my new iPhone, plus the occasional Post- it note should insure my success.  If  Follow-Through was for sale, I’d buy a bottle of that too!
You may be wondering what prompted these grand plans of mine.  If so let me shed a bit of light as to my why.  My adult life has involved relocating at least ten times, accruing lovely friends, colleagues and lots of  neighbors along the way.  Stretched over time and many miles, I have a pretty long list of people that have been a part of my life. Within the past year, I relocated within 25 miles of where I was raised.  Locally, I have many relatives and school mates whom I’ve not lived near since the seventies.  It is taking time for me to adjust to being back home.
With this transition, I want to reflect on who I am in relation to all those who are a part of me.   There are folks that I never want to let time or good intentions lead to our drifting apart.
Despite E-mail, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc my top of the mind approach to staying connected, I’m afraid will only become more tedious as time goes on.
To embrace my relationships with the people who are the very fabric of my life,  I think a system will help.

expressing of sadness

Monday, January 21, 2008

To Express Sadness

To express sadness with the words, "I am sad."
Is like telling your mother she was right about something.

But it is not about your mother
or hearts that don't want to work anymore
or a God that you have faith in
or a friend you have lost

Or anyone even being right about something.

To feel loneliness when you are alone,
Is like agreeing with dentists about flossing.

But it is not about gingivitis
or being a follower
or a listener
or a loner

Or even teeth

To think about the future without a friend
Is like to bake a cake without the flour

But it isn't about you
or the chemistry or gastronomy
or what happens tomorrow when my alarm goes off
or if you're also out of frosting

Or if it is even a cake that celebrates something

To cry because you've lost
Is like shouting when you've won

But it isn't about scoring more
or doing less
or writing a poem
or what words can say hearts or pain or uncertainty

Or if you didn't have words to say about it a week ago.

I couldn't be sadder.
There, I've said it.

But it isn't about me
or how alone I feel
or how hopeless it is to lose someone
or how much I've cried.

Or what comes next.




God, I can only have faith, will heal. And do good things. And show he is purposeful.


Please pray for my friend. He was my father's best and favorite friend. He was a good man. He was loved by so many people who will never forget him.
He will be missed for as long as I live.

~Sami

And Happy, Happy Birthday Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr!

His quest for justice, much like my friend's, has been inpirational, timeless, and never in vain.

"I won't have any money to leave behind.
I won't have the fine and luxurious things of life to leave behind.
But I just want to leave a committed life behind."

present continuous (progressive) for annoyance

Hi there,

While the sentence:

' She is always getting on my nerves!'

is a standard example of the Pres.Cont. tense used for expressing annoyance, the sentence:

'She is never paying attention to me'

sounds wrong to me.

1. Is it wrong?
2. If so, can we use the Pres.Cont. for expressing annoyance with the adverb 'always' only?

Thank you 

Re: present continuous (progressive) for annoyance

---

Quote:

Hi there, While the sentence: ' She is always getting on my nerves!' is a standard example of the Pres.Cont. tense used for expressing annoyance, the sentence: 'She is never paying attention to me' sounds wrong to me. 1. Is it wrong? 2. If so, can we use the Pres.Cont. for expressing annoyance with the adverb 'always' only? Thank you

For some reason, your sentence with 'never' would sound more natural with the simple present.

> She never pays attention to me.

As well, I think that 'present continuous' to express annoyance should collocate with the word 'always'.

Expressions for showing annoyance
Oh, dear! Oh, no! Bother! Damn! (some people may find this offensive) I can't believe it! Why does this always happen!
For	goodness heaven's pete's pity's God's (some people may find this offensive)	sake!

compound sentence

Definition:
A sentence that contains at least two independent clauses.
Compound sentences can be formed in three ways:
(1) using coordinating conjunctions;
(2) using the semicolon, either with or without conjunctive adverbs;
(3) on occasion, using the colon.
The compound sentence is one of the four basic sentence structures. The other structures are the simple sentence, the complex sentence, and the compound-complex sentence.

Reading Harry Potter in English

Have you read J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series? Let me ask this again. Have you read the Harry Potter series in English?

Why do so many people love Harry Potter?

1. Harry is an orphan. Many popular tales start out with the main character losing one or both parents. Think of all of the popular Disney movies. Most of them start this way!
2. Harry is loveable. For a book to be successful, the main character has to be adored by the readers. The average human can relate to Harry Potter despite his abnormal life.
3. Harry is magic. Humans love to read about worlds of wonder. Perhaps this is a form of escape from our own reality.
4. Harry has his fair share of trouble. Conflict is the key to a good story. The Harry Potter books are page turners. Once you are hooked you can’t put them down.

The Harry Potter books are available in over 60 languages. However, if Harry Potter is truly your “favourite book” why not read it in English? Reading a translation is not the same as reading the original. In fact, it is a little bit like watching a movie adaptation. You lose part of the author’s true vision for the book.

Will you accept the challenge to read Harry Potter in English? You can use the comments below to motivate each other. You can also ask questions about vocabulary from the books. Why not start a Harry Potter reading group on MyEC?

Wordchecker:
orphan: a child whose parents have died
relate to: understand because it is familiar
fair share: as much or more than the average person
page turner: a book that you can’t stop reading
hooked: convinced to continue reading (or using)
vision: a plan in one’s imagination

Did you know J.K. Rowling taught English as a second language? English learners truly are an inspiration!

Materi Bahasa Inggris: Narrative Texts

Narrative Text, adalah teks yang isinya merupakan cerita atau kisah tentang sesuatu. Contoh narrative text: cerita rakyat (folktale), cerita binatang (fable), Legenda (legend), cerita pendek (short story), dan sejenisnya. Di dalamnya terdapat konflik/puncak masalah yang diikuti dengan penyelesaian. Fungsi utama teks ini adalah untuk berkisah atau menghibur pembaca.

Ciri-ciri narrative text:

1. Generic Structure:

• Orientation: berisi pengenalan tokoh, tempat dan waktu terjadinya cerita (siapa atau apa, kapan dan dimana)
• Complication: Berisi puncak konflik/masalah dalam cerita. Sebuah cerita boleh memiliki complication lebih dari satu.
• Resolution: Pemecahan masalah. Bisa berakhir dengan kegembiraan (happy ending) bisa pula berakhir dengan kesedihan (sad ending).

Catatan:

Terkadang juga susunannya (generic structure): Orientation, Complication, Evaluation, Resolution dan Reorientation. Untuk “Evaluation” dan “Reorientation” merupakan optional; bisa ada bisa tidak. Evaluation berisi penilaian/evaluasi terhadap jalannya cerita atau konflik. Sedangkan Reorientation berisi penyimpulan isi akhir cerita.

2. Grammatical features menggunakan tenses “past”
3. Sering menggunakan kata penghubung waktu (temporal conjunction), misalnya: once upon a time, one day, long time ago, …

Contoh Narrative Text:

Ali Baba

Once upon a time there were 40 cruel thieves who put their stolen money and treasures in a cave. They went in the cave by saying ”Open Sesame” to the cave entrance. A poor person, named Ali Baba saw them while they were doing that, so he heard the opening word. After they left, he went toward the cave and opened it. Suddenly he found a very large quantity of money and golden treasures. He took some of it and went back home. After that he became a rich man and his brother wanted to know how he became rich.

Ali Baba turned into the richest man in his village. His evil brother was really jealous of him, and wanted to know how he could get such a lot of money. Therefore, when Ali Baba went to the cave again to take some more money, his brother followed him. He saw everything, and decided to go back the next day to take some money for himself. The next morning he found a lot of money in the cave, and he wanted to take all of them. Unfortunately, when he was busy carrying the money to his house, the thieves came. The boss of the thieves asked him how he knew about the cave. He told everything, but unluckily they killed him and went to Ali Baba’s house.

After finding Ali Baba’s house, they made a plan to kill him the following night. Some of the thieves hid in big jars, and the boss pretended that he was a merchant who wanted to sell the jars to Ali Baba. Ali Baba who was a kind man invited the boss of the thief to have lunch together.

After lunch they took a rest. Luckily, the house maid went out of the house, and found that there were thieves inside the jars. She finally boiled hot oil and poured it into the jars to kill all of them. The boss of the thieves was caught, and put into prison.

Ali Baba was saved from the danger, and he finally lived happily ever after with his maid who became his wife shortly after.

Tentang Global Warning..

jangan berfikir langkah kecil kita tidak berpengaruh apa-apa, sebab persoalan besar seperti Global Warming sebenarnya adalah dampak akumulatif dari perilaku individu yang kecil-kecil ada beberapa hal yang dapat kita lakukan:
1. minimalisir penggunaan plastik ;
sebenarnya HMTL ITB akan mengadakan kampanye anti plastik, sebagai bentuk pewacanaan     awal. karena kita semua tau mustahil dapat langsung berhenti dari pemakaian plastik (secara…     hampir semua produk mengandung plastik, dan jika belanja pasti dikasih plastik !!)
MAKA (dengan asumsi semua disini tau bahwa plastik non degradable )
* hindarilah membuang plastik banyak2, kalo perlu disimpen aja soalnya bisa membebani             sampah kota bandung (kan ga ada TPA)
* kalo belanja, jika masih bisa langsung dimasukin tas, masukin aja. jadi ga perlu plastik kan!
2. ” Switch off”
hemat listrik = mengurangi dampak pemanasan global,
* matikan lampu sebelum tidur
* ganti lampu bohlam ke jenis lampu CFL (karena  hemat energi sampai 60%)
* jika meninggalkan kamar/rumah, cabut segala perangkat elektronik seperti: DVD player,             kompie,s/d charger dsb… jika sudah selesai menggunakan) kebiasaan meninggalkan dalam             keadaan stand-by harus dihilangkan.
3. Pilih Produk ramah lingkungan
* seperti memilih kertas yang mudah didaur ulang
* kalo bisa pakai kertas semaksimal mungkin (bisa pakai kertas re-use/ bolak-balik) kec kalo         untuk hal resmi ya lah…
4. Transportasi Hijau
* kalo kostan deket jalan kaki saja..
* kalo pake motor, rajin-rajin lah di servis !!!
* kalo pake mobil, sebisa mungkin maksimalkan kapasitas penumpangnya. . di servis juga !!
karena apa? saya rasa semua dah tau kalo pertambahan kendaraan bermotor di kota bandung         setiap harinya mencapai 50 %, mau sampai berapa juta angka kendaraan bermotor membuat         polusi meningkat ??? bikin macet juga kan!!
5. Tanam pohon
bagi orang-orang rumahan, jangan lupa dirumahnya harus ada lahan hijau.. jangan dihabiskan         semua untuk bangunan,,, bermanfaat juga untuk resapan air… INGAT LOH… permukaan air         tanah di bumi semakin meningkat… so ntar air tanah makin dangkal aja dong… jadi berbaik         hatilah pada tanaman..
yah.. begitulah saya rasa hal-hal sederhana tadi dapat kita lakukan sekarang juga…
meski terkesan sepele, namun berdampak sangat besar untuk kehidupan di bumi ini.
jika kita membiasakan diri,, dan menularkannya pada orang lain, insyaAllah nanti semakin banyak yang sadar..

jadi,.. mulailah dari diri sendiri dan tularkan kebaikan ini pada orang lain…

Pemanasan global

Pemanasan global atau Global Warming adalah adanya proses peningkatan suhu rata-rata atmosfer, laut, dan daratan Bumi.
Suhu rata-rata global pada permukaan Bumi telah meningkat 0.74 ± 0.18 °C (1.33 ± 0.32 °F) selama seratus tahun terakhir. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) menyimpulkan bahwa, "sebagian besar peningkatan suhu rata-rata global sejak pertengahan abad ke-20 kemungkinan besar disebabkan oleh meningkatnya konsentrasi gas-gas rumah kaca akibat aktivitas manusia"^[1] melalui efek rumah kaca. Kesimpulan dasar ini telah dikemukakan oleh setidaknya 30 badan ilmiah dan akademik, termasuk semua akademi sains nasional dari negara-negara G8. Akan tetapi, masih terdapat beberapa ilmuwan yang tidak setuju dengan beberapa kesimpulan yang dikemukakan IPCC tersebut.
Model iklim yang dijadikan acuan oleh projek IPCC menunjukkan suhu permukaan global akan meningkat 1.1 hingga 6.4 °C (2.0 hingga 11.5 °F) antara tahun 1990 dan 2100.^[1] Perbedaan angka perkiraan itu disebabkan oleh penggunaan skenario-skenario berbeda mengenai emisi gas-gas rumah kaca di masa mendatang, serta model-model sensitivitas iklim yang berbeda. Walaupun sebagian besar penelitian terfokus pada periode hingga 2100, pemanasan dan kenaikan muka air lautdiperkirakan akan terus berlanjut selama lebih dari seribu tahun walaupun tingkat emisi gas rumah kaca telah stabil.^[1] Ini mencerminkan besarnya kapasitas panas dari lautan.
Meningkatnya suhu global diperkirakan akan menyebabkan perubahan-perubahan yang lain seperti naiknya permukaan air laut, meningkatnya intensitas fenomena cuaca yang ekstrim,^[2] serta perubahan jumlah dan pola presipitasi. Akibat-akibat pemanasan global yang lain adalah terpengaruhnya hasil pertanian, hilangnya gletser, dan punahnya berbagai jenis hewan.

Beberapa hal-hal yang masih diragukan para ilmuwan adalah mengenai jumlah pemanasan yang diperkirakan akan terjadi di masa depan, dan bagaimana pemanasan serta perubahan-perubahan yang terjadi tersebut akan bervariasi dari satu daerah ke daerah yang lain. Hingga saat ini masih terjadi perdebatan politik dan publik di dunia mengenai apa, jika ada, tindakan yang harus dilakukan untuk mengurangi atau membalikkan pemanasan lebih lanjut atau untuk beradaptasi terhadap konsekuensi-konsekuensi yang ada. Sebagian besar pemerintahan negara-negara di dunia telah menandatangani dan meratifikasi Protokol Kyoto, yang mengarah pada pengurangan emisi gas-gas rumah kaca.

structure and speaking

I. What do you say if you are in the following situations?

1. Ant insect bites you
2. You have heard that your grandmother's health is more better
3. There is someone push you from behind

II. Translate the following sentences into English. Use simple past and past continuouse tense!

1. ketika Mitha sedang merawat kelincinya, adik laki-lakinya menganggu dia
2. Saat aku masih 8 tahun, aku tidak suka membaca buku
3. Kucing itu sedang tidur, ketika aku masuk rumah.

III. Complete the following sentences with question taq!

1. The three girls collect photos of film stars,.....?
2. I am having dinner at a restaurant,...........?
3. This report is not accurate,......?
4. Bobby speaks English fluently,........?
5. Diah never gets up early on sunday,.......?

IV. Combine the following clause to make a compound sentences!

1. The train was late.......the passengers were waiting at the airport all morning
2. I like garden .........I don't like trees.
3. ........Nita is sick, She still goes to school
4. I have to go to her house,.......she goes to Jakarta.

1. 
   

soal mid semester reading text

Read the text and answer the question

The fishermam ( By Maria Emilia Moura )

Once upon a time there was a fisherman armed with his fishing rod who would make his way every day from his village to the river bank. there he would wait patiently for the fish to bite. As soon as he had caught exactly three fish, he would leave the river and went his way slowly home to the cottage where he lived with his wife and son. this strangre routine was much commented in the village. then one day a tourist arrived and began to go for daily walks to the river bank. After a few days of watching the lone fisherman, he finally spoke to him.

"Execuse me, but I've been observing your unusual routine for several days. You always catch exactly three fish and then go away"

"And why on earth should I want to wait around here after that?

"For more fish to take the bait."

"But I only need three fish. There are only three of us at home.

"And you 've never thought of trying to catch more fish?

"What for?

:To sell, so that you can buy a bigger house and then may be another boat and have people working for you?

"what for?

"So that you could have other things, be very rich and do all the things you like doing".

"The things I like doing?But what I like doing is fishing!" 

1. Where did the story take place?
2. Who were the participants?
3. What routine did the fisherman do every day?
4. Why did the tourist finally speak to the fisherman?
5. Why didn't the fisherman catch more then three fish?
6. What was the thing the fisherman like doing?
7. How did the fisherman wait for the fish to bait? This strange routine was much commented on the village. The meaning ofthe underlined word is nearly the same as......... 
8. This strange routine was much commented on the village. The meaning ofthe underlined word is nearly the same as......... 
9. The fisherman said.......(choose the correct answer)

a. If there were only three of us at home

b. That there are only three of them at home

c. That there are only three of us at home

d. That there were only three of us at home

e. That there were only three of them at home

10. This strange routine was much commented on the village .The sentence have the same meaning with......

(choose the correct answer)

a. The routine was very usual in the village

b. The routine was part of the people's tradition

c. People liked doing the routine

d. People didn't like the routine

e. People criticized the man for doing the routine

 

EXPRESSING SATISFACTION AND DISSATISFACTION

Text 1

(At lunch time, Machiko and Roberto were hungry. They found a restaurant near the college. The menu looked very good. They chose a table at the salad bowl, sat down, and read the menu. Then they waited. They waited for a long time. At last the waiter comes.)

Waiter : Yes?

Machiko : I’d like salad fruit, please.

Waiter : Cottage cheese, yoghurt, or sherbet?

Machiko : Er, yoghurt, please.

Waiter : Anything else?

Machiko : Yes, I’ll have some bread and a glass of white wine.

Waiter : (to Roberto) and you?

Roberto : The chef’s salad – large, with bread and red wine, please.

(After the waiter left)

Machiko : The waiter was unfriendly, wasn’t he?

Roberto : No, not unfriendly. He was rude.

(Michiko and Roberto waited more than ten minutes. Their food finally arrived.)

Roberto : Large? This is small salad.

Machiko : And this is sherbet instead of yoghurt.

Roberto : The bread is hard.

Machiko : It’s not fresh at all. It’s stale. I can’t eat it.

Roberto : And I can’t drink this wine chilled. It’s warm.

Machiko : Terrible. There’s no butter for the bread, either.

Roberto : Where’s the waiter?

Machiko : I don’t know. He’s probably gone to lunch at another restaurant.

Answer the following questions briefly.

1. How does the menu look like?
2. What do Machiko and Robderto feel about their meal?
3. What do they order?
4. How long do they wait for their food?
5. What make them dissatisfied?

Text 2

Paul : Have you read today’s newspaper?

James : Not yet. Is it interesting?

Paul : Yes, the apology from the company. Take a look. The paper is over there.

James : Picking up the newspaper and starting to read it. Is that all?

Paul : Yes.

James : This is not enough. I’m not satisfied yet. The size of the ads should have been half of the page. Besides, the company only apologized but they didn’t mention what they would do.

Paul : Oh, come on. The point is not the matter of the size, but the company sincere to apologize.

James : Still it’s not satisfying.

Paul : I think they have already shown their good will. It’s more than enough.

Answer the following questions briefly.

1. Who are involved in the dialogue above?

2. What is the content of the paper?

3. What does James say to express his dissatisfaction?

4. Why does he feel so?

5. Write Paul’s expression to express his satisfaction.

Text 3

Robert : How do you feel about this food?

Tery : Wow….. I am very satisfied. It’s very delicious.

Robert : Yes, you are right. Would you have anymore?

Tery : Yes, of course.

Robert : I will take some for my younger sister. She’ll be very happy.

Tery : Yeah and I will take for my mom at home.

Robert : OK. Let’s go home. I never feel satisfied before.

Tery : So am I.

Answer the following questions briefly.

1. Who are having dialogue?

2. What are they talking about?

3. Where does the conversation take place?

4. What does Tery feel about the food?

5. Why do they take the food home?

Present Perfect Tense

I have sung

The present perfect tense is a rather important tense in English, but it gives speakers of some languages a difficult time. That is because it uses concepts or ideas that do not exist in those languages. In fact, the structure of the present perfect tense is very simple. The problems come with the use of the tense. In addition, there are some differences in usage between British and American English.

• Structure: how to make the present perfect tense
• Use: when and why to use the present perfect tense
• For and Since with the present perfect tense. What's the difference?

How do we make the Present Perfect Tense?

The structure of the present perfect tense is:

subject	+	auxiliary verb	+	main verb
		have		past participle

Here are some examples of the present perfect tense:

	subject	auxiliary verb		main verb
+	I	have		seen	ET.
+	You	have		eaten	mine.
-	She	has	not	been	to Rome.
-	We	have	not	played	football.
?	Have	you		finished?
?	Have	they		done	it?

Contractions with the present perfect tense

When we use the present perfect tense in speaking, we usually contract the subject and auxiliary verb. We also sometimes do this when we write.

I have	I've
You have	You've
He has She has It has John has The car has	He's She's It's John's The car's
We have	We've
They have	They've

Here are some examples:

• I've finished my work.
• John's seen ET.
• They've gone home.

He's or he's??? Be careful! The 's contraction is used for the auxiliary verbs have and be. For example, "It's eaten" can mean:

• It has eaten. [present perfect tense, active voice]
• It is eaten. [present tense, passive voice] 

How do we use the Present Perfect Tense?

This tense is called the present perfect tense. There is always a connection with the past and with the present. There are basically three uses for the present perfect tense:

1. experience
2. change
3. continuing situation

1. Present perfect tense for experience

We often use the present perfect tense to talk about experience from the past. We are not interested in when you did something. We only want to know if you did it:

I have seen ET. He has lived in Bangkok. Have you been there? We have never eaten caviar.
past	present	future
The action or state was in the past.	In my head, I have a memory now.

Connection with past: the event was in the past.
Connection with present: in my head, now, I have a memory of the event; I know something about the event; I have experience of it.

2. Present perfect tense for change

We also use the present perfect tense to talk about a change or new information:

I have bought a car.
past	present	future
-	+
Last week I didn't have a car.	Now I have a car.

 

John has broken his leg.
past	present	future
+	-
Yesterday John had a good leg.	Now he has a bad leg.

 

Has the price gone up?
past	present	future
+	-
Was the price $1.50 yesterday?	Is the price $1.70 today?

 

The police have arrested the killer.
past	present	future
-	+
Yesterday the killer was free.	Now he is in prison.

Connection with past: the past is the opposite of the present.
Connection with present: the present is the opposite of the past.

3. Present perfect tense for continuing situation

We often use the present perfect tense to talk about a continuing situation. This is a state that started in the past and continues in the present (and will probably continue into the future). This is a state (not an action). We usually use for or since with this structure.

I have worked here since June. He has been ill for 2 days. How long have you known Tara?
past	present	future
The situation started in the past.	It continues up to now.	(It will probably continue into the future.)

Connection with past: the situation started in the past.
Connection with present: the situation contin

For & Since with Present Perfect Tense

We often use for and since with the present perfect tense.

• We use for to talk about a period of time - 5 minutes, 2 weeks, 6 years.
• We use since to talk about a point in past time - 9 o'clock, 1st January, Monday.

for	since
a period of time	a point in past time
	x------------
20 minutes	6.15pm
three days	Monday
6 months	January
4 years	1994
2 centuries	1800
a long time	I left school
ever	the beginning of time
etc	etc

Here are some examples:

• I have been here for 20 minutes.
• I have been here since 9 o'clock.
• John hasn't called for 6 months.
• John hasn't called since February.
• He has worked in New York for a long time.
• He has worked in New York since he left school.

How to Express Sympathy When Someone Dies

Most people want to express sympathy when a friend, family member or work associate experiences the death of someone they love. Knowing how to express sympathy in those situations is not always easy. But it is even more difficult when a friend, acquaintance, or work associate dies, and we do not know the grieving family. Out of respect for the dead person we may still want to express our sympathy to the family and let them know that we cared about the deceased. You can send a card or note, but whether you are expressing your sympathy in writing or in person, it can be hard to know what to say.
While expressions of sympathy are inadequate to eliminate grief, they do help the grieving know that others care about what they are going through. So here are some suggested ways of expressing sympathy:

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. 1
   1) Share a positive reminiscence of something the person said or did, such as a time they helped you personally, or share an anecdote about them (but nothing embarrasing or hurtful).
   
2. 2
   2) Share with the family a positive quality about the person that you appreciated, such as how friendly they were or what a good sense of humor they had.
   
3. 3
   3) If you know anything about their religious beliefs, then share with them your hope that God and their faith will bring them comfort in their time of loss.
   
4. 4
   4) Give a memorial to a charity in honor of the deceased.
   
5. 5
   5) Give the grieving person a journal to write down their feelings, emotions and memories of their loved one.
   
6. 6
   6) Take them food or a meal. (Because people often receive gifts of food when they lose a loved one, you might consider something that can be frozen or a basket of ingredients that could be easily cooked and mixed together to use at a later date)
   
7. 7
   7) Give flowers, a plant, or a gift basket.
   
8. 8
   8) Do not say, "I know how you feel." If you can truly understand a little of what they are going through (for example a friend's mother has suddenly died of a heart attack and your mother died the same way several months previous) then it is okay to say something like, "I know how much it hurts to lose your mom this way." It is also okay to share something that helped you through your experience, but remember what is going on right now is not about you, it is about the person to whom you are expressing sympathy.
   
9. 9
   9) It is always okay to say, "I'm praying for you" as long as it is true and the grieving person isn't an atheist who will be offended by such a statement.
   
10. 10
    10) You can say, "If there's anything I can do to help..." but it is usually more helpful to offer specifics such as picking the kids up from school or picking up the dry cleaning, etc.
    
11. 11
    11) If you didn't know the person who died well enough to share anything, then the best thing you can say is, "I'm sorry about your loss (or the death of your husband/wife/child/etc.) Hugs are also nice.
    
12. 12
    12) Send the grieving a "thinking of you" card several days after the funeral.
    
13. 13
    13) Keep in touch after the funeral. Invite them out, or offer to help them in specific ways.

EXPRESSING SYMPATHY What To Say... How To Help

Expressing sympathy...
                           


"The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of confusion or despair, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing... not healing... not curing... that is a friend indeed."
                                    ~Henri Nouwen
Expressing sympathy...
So your best friend just lost her teenage son in a car wreck... What a tragedy! You are just devastated and so saddened by the news.

But, Geez! What do you say to your friend? How can you possibly help or lessen her pain for her? Well, you can't, but there are things you can say or do to provide genuine support for a fellow human in need.

And there are some things you should never say to a bereaved person.

So what is the best way to express sympathy when a friend or loved one has suffered a tragic loss? What should you say to them? How best to lend support or offer to help?

Many bereaved people have reported that certain things said or done by those offering sympathy had a great impact on them... either positive or negative. We present in this section a guide to help you out with one of life's most difficult challenges... expressing sympathy.

Read on for some useful guidelines:

• How you can help (below)
• What to say in person
• Hurtful platitudes (cliches) to avoid
• How to write a comforting sympathy letter
• Send one of our beautifully unique sympathy cards
• Our special sympathy gift collection